plz revise the short paragraph plz its urgent?
Monday, January 11th, 2010
Dtjhd Q asked:
Young people get part-time jobs while going to college to support their financial need, usually jobs that no one wants to have. They learn how to save money after realizing that earning money is harder than what they previously thought it was. Independence, therefore, leads teenagers to value money highly. Also, it guides them how to spend money effectively. For example, my sister did not know the definition of the word, “money” because she spent it whenever she wanted. However, after earning a small amount of money at family restaurant, my sister notices that she cannot waste any money because she knows how tiring she gets in order to receive a pay check. Also, she cannot keep in touch with her friends due to inflexible time. However, my sister learned the priceless lesson that she can be reliant because she can make money on her own and she can control herself. On the other hand, if teenagers do not seek independence, but stay with their parents, they will likely have an easier time than students who go out and work. However, teen who do not work will probably value money less than the self-reliant youth. Independence plays a vital and challenging role in teenagers’ lives.
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Young people get part-time jobs while going to college to support their financial need, usually jobs that no one wants to have. They learn how to save money after realizing that earning money is harder than what they previously thought it was. Independence, therefore, leads teenagers to value money highly. Also, it guides them how to spend money effectively. For example, my sister did not know the definition of the word, “money” because she spent it whenever she wanted. However, after earning a small amount of money at family restaurant, my sister notices that she cannot waste any money because she knows how tiring she gets in order to receive a pay check. Also, she cannot keep in touch with her friends due to inflexible time. However, my sister learned the priceless lesson that she can be reliant because she can make money on her own and she can control herself. On the other hand, if teenagers do not seek independence, but stay with their parents, they will likely have an easier time than students who go out and work. However, teen who do not work will probably value money less than the self-reliant youth. Independence plays a vital and challenging role in teenagers’ lives.
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